Jean Lund's Blog

{September 25, 2011}   Why God Made Men And Why Haven’t I Got One When I Need One?

Being single has its perks but every once in a while I am reminded of the pluses of being in a relationship. Take for example repairs. I have tried my best to fix things on my own. I’ve come to the conclusion that I hate tools. I purchased a battery driven drill with different screwdriver attachments. The first time I used it to remove a screw it flew out and hit me in the eye. I used it next to replace the doorknob on the back door. Do you know how hard it is to line up those holes? I spent an hour before completing it only to discover I had put it on upside down. The tongue was pointed the wrong direction preventing the door from closing. Another hour down the drain. How do men do it so easily?


Electronics is another miserable task. I have four remote controls in my living room. One for the VCR, one for the TV, one for the Cable and recently I bought a DVD player. Numero four. Can’t this be simplified? Of course the DVD doesn’t play loud and I’ve just been told I need a stereo system to play it through. All I’m thinking now is how am I going to install a Home Theater System by myself? And as if I didn’t already have enough wires behind the TV, I have to add a coax cable, an audio input S-video cable, and cable with a switch to watch movies directly from the Camcorder. Where is a man when I need him?


My biggest catastrophe to date was when I started bath water and then got caught up in some work on my computer. Forty minutes later my eyes widened simultaneously with remembering my bath. Logic told me it was too late as I raced across the house. There was four inches of water on the bathroom floor seeping onto my bedroom carpet. Throwing every towel I owned on the floor I raced to Home Depot to buy a wet vac. Anxious to get the water off the floor, I tore open the box and yanked the vac out. Quickly I started sucking up the water. I’d been using the wide end of the hose and once done I found it strange that there were no attachments with it. I read the box and it said nothing about attachments. I looked inside and it was empty. I thought “How stupid!” I then removed the cover to empty the water and found all the attachments and hardware floating on top of my dirty bathroom water! I have come to one conclusion:


Any man that comes within a ten-foot radius of my front door is open season for me!


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